This article was originally featured on Forbes
The concept of women “having it all”—both a career and a family life—has a complicated history. As our society empowered women and gave us more opportunities to advance our careers and take on leadership roles (and as McKinsey explains, we certainly have made some significant strides), the day-to-day challenges of juggling both remain—as well as the lack of resources across the board for women trying to make this possible.
To top it all off, deep-seated prejudices on gender roles can make it difficult for women to advance their careers. Many of us hear that to pursue success is to neglect home life. And to rise in your career, you have to give it your all. But as many studies and articles have discussed, people sometimes see ambition as a more positive trait in men than in women.
As a mom of two (with one on the way), I want to talk about my own experience and offer some advice on what has helped me find balance with both parts of my life.
You simply can’t give 100% to every task at every moment of your life. Some weeks I felt like I was a stellar employee but that it came at the expense of my duties as a mom. It was like I could be one person at a time—not both. I felt guilty when I needed to step away for a pickup or a kid’s appointment, for example. The reality is that there are not always enough hours in the day.
Own both parts of your identity. I believe moms can be more productive because we have so much experience managing our time effectively. There’s no room for “fluffy” work or wasted time.
When I became CMO, I had just had my second baby. My boss asked me if I was up for the challenge when I returned from maternity leave. I—light on sleep and dreary-eyed—figured “what the heck; let’s go for it.” I knew I’d regret it if I said no.
But continuing to forge ahead does come with its challenges, especially when both home and work life are entering exciting new stages. Baby No. 2 and a promotion: I would need everything that I put into practice to keep my work-life balance intact with my first to keep me going. Learning how to carve out time and where to request help was imperative (both at home and at work).
Now that I am awaiting my third child, I’ve learned even more. One challenge is making sure that my colleagues know that my head is still in the game—some people always assume that having a new child means you’re pushing your career aside. Nope—it just means I want both. And I know how to make it work.
Any company that wants to succeed should invest in its people. For employees who will be or are already mothers, there’s a lot the company can do. It starts with the understanding that for most of us, it’s not an either-or; we plan to do both. There are tangible things organizations can put in place to support their mothers.
For one, companies should aim to offer maternity leave periods that are fair and that give the primary caregiver and family the time they need. I believe this should be at least 16 weeks, but make it a conversation to be clear that everyone has access to what they need. Providing additional support around the time of birth is big too, and no gesture is too small. The company at which I am a CMO provides one week of free meals to new parents—you have no idea how much that helps a new mother until you’re in that situation, and yet in the grand scheme of things, it’s a pretty small thing that a company can easily provide.
I believe hiring women is the first step to making a company better for mothers. The ratio of men to women in tech still needs a lot of work—Deloitte predicted that women would comprise only 33% of the workforces of large global technology firms in 2022 (and that’s an increase from recent years). Why isn’t it 50/50? And don’t make women employees feel like they need to choose between work and family. Create safe spaces for parents where they know they can bring their whole selves to work.
At the end of the day, no mother’s experience will be the same, so you should figure out what your unique challenges and needs are. Mornings can be chaos, the day is full of meetings, and the evening is filled with dinner, diapers and bedtime. And that’s on an easy day.
There are a few practical things that working mothers can try that have kept me successful (and sane).
First, work from home when possible, and block out chunks of time for working during the day. Delegate to your team, even though this can be very hard for many, and have a strict “end time” to your workday. You might reply to some emails at night after bedtime—as I do—but I try to schedule those replies for the morning. I don’t want my team to think that they need to work at night just because I am. Also, allow yourself little moments to connect with your children throughout the day. For example, I do preschool pickup daily. It’s just 20 minutes, but it gives me a moment to step out of the office, catch my breath and get some time with my four-year-old before going back to the grind.
Being a mother is hard; so is having a career. We can do both, and we can do them better when we have each other’s backs.
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About Qualified
Qualified is the pipeline generation platform for revenue teams that use Salesforce. Headquartered in San Francisco, Qualified is ranked #1 on the Salesforce AppExchange and is led by former Salesforce CMO Kraig Swensrud and former Salesforce product SVP Sean Whiteley. Qualified is funded by Sapphire Ventures, Tiger Global, Norwest Venture Partners, Redpoint Ventures, and Salesforce Ventures. To learn more, visit qualified.com.
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